Things for Bulldogs to know:
1. House breaking is very important--break as much of the house as possible
2. Thunder is a signal that the world is coming to an end--RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!
3. ANYTHING with wheels on it is YOURS TO KILL!!!
4. To clean your face--find a human with clean clothes and wipe your face on them--a quick brush across the knee usually does the trick
5. Disappear frequently--when your humans can't find you--let 'em sweat for a while, then reappear and look at them like they're crazy
6. AT ALL TIMES--remember you're in charge---do things according to your schedule, not theirs
7. Paper bags are a dogs worst nighmare--again--RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!
8. Humans love it when you soften up their shoes by chewing them, do this at least once a week
9. When on a leash, show them that you're not happy by making terrible hacking and coughing sounds--especially when other humans are around
10. When the humans want you to get off the funiture--look at them in disbelief-------I mean you did go through great trouble getting the chair to smell just right.....
11. If the door is shut--eat it down!
12. If the space isn't big enough for you to get through--try harder!
13. When snoozing--be sure to sleep upside down--this attracts the most attention--and be sure to snore REALLY loud
14. Being a dog that looks like a pig has it's advantages--like .....uhhhh......
15. Share the household duties--be sure to splash as much water out of your bowl as possible--this will help keep the floor clean
16. When sliding accross the kitchen floor--do the FBI turnaround or else you bang your head!
